Death, time travel, dolphins and June bugs

Several things.

Last night I looked in the mirror. A single long silver hair twinkled back at me. Then I saw my death. It wasn't the noble death I've hoped for; a death of my own choosing. It was a lonely, sad death. I saw the flesh rot from my skull. Only my eyes remained - blackened and shrived.

I watched Doctor Who after studying last night. I'm about half way through the Matt Smith episodes. Of all the super heroes I've seen over the years the Doctor is the one I identify best with. In this episode, Amy Pond - one of his companions - gets trapped in a different time stream than the Doctor. He is unable to find her until 36 years in the future. At the end they must choose which Amy to save - the young Amy who is first lost in the time stream or the later Amy who has been trapped there for 36 years. The later Amy does not want to give herself up for the younger Amy because it will mean that she will have never existed. So it made me think "if I could go back in time, even if it meant giving all all the experiences I've had until that point, and the version of myself that I currently am would never have existed?" Perhaps it's pessimistic, but I think I would. I can't think of anything so overwhelmingly good that's happened to me that I wouldn't go back if I had the chance. But when would I go to? That I couldn't decide upon.

Staring out of the window I saw a dolphin jump out of the river behind out house. At first I wasn't sure of what I saw. A black-grey thing came out of the water and glided back in a crescent shape. But then it came out again and I was sure. I ran outside, onto the pier, and sat down. But it didn't come up again.

Looking out of that same window, right now, there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of June bugs swarming, flying whimsically mere inches off the ground. It's been like this for several days. Every couple of minutes one will fly into the window and bounce off. There are cicadas and dragon flies too.